My name is Gabrielle Valentine. I'm a mother, house cleaner and wife. In that order. My poor husband gets the leftovers. And yet...he's still here.
I need to check out occasionally, hence the blog. Being a mom is hard work. Mad props if you have more than two kids. You're hella fly!
I don't like camping, cooking, or cleaning, and I don't own a scrapbook.
I'm a Mormon Democrat. I believe in free agency, universal health care, energy efficiency, anti-war. But I'm not a Harvard Political major so I won't go into those opinions on this page. Maybe later on in the blog.
I'm a pre-Mormon alcoholic. Sober 5 years. Good times....and bad. I went through two awful relationships before meeting my husband. Had he not "saved" me, I'd most likely be dead, based on the people I was hanging around with during those times.
Post-convert mother of two. I hold two full time jobs from home that I don't get paid for thanks to Mr. Valentine. I get kicked, spit up on and screamed at all day. I feel a tad bit crazy. I often do it alone, without any help from family or friends. Mr. Valentine is usually working long hours as he finishes his last year of college.
My husband is a Fine Ass Mormon Republican or FAMR. We have mad love for each other. Meaning we're usually mad at each other, but we know we're in it together and still love each other. He's very romantic and a fabulous chef. He works really hard to provide for us. We are so fortunate to have him in our lives.
I love not cooking. It's way too complicated in my opinion. But we need to eat, so I've decided to embrace this whole domesticity thing and learn how to cook. For the kids and all.
During the GREAT RECESSION OF 2008, I left a full time job I'd held for 6 years due to the high cost of daycare ($1100 a month). It was then that we switched our health insurance. There was a one month lag-period before the new policy started. During this month, I needed an emergency gallbladder surgery. It cost $50,000. Money was already tight, and I'd recently become a stay at home mom. After a major budget overhaul, and a lot of humble thoughts and prayers, we foreclosed on our home, filed bankruptcy and moved to a rental house in the ghetto. And I mean, GHETTO. We now live on the same block as several Inlaws. The drama is INSANE.
I don't exactly get along with my Inlaws. It's not that I don't love them or that I have to be right. It's just that they annoy me at times and cause this anger inside that I haven't done anything with yet. Maybe I can sort some of that out here as I attempt to be a better person.
I worry way too much and I usually think I'm dying of something. I constantly worry about money. The bankruptcy wiped out our debt, however, we now have $1200 to our name. That's $1200 with NO credit cards to fall back on. Not that I was ever "into" credit cards, I've always been quite frugal (we filed due to medical bills) but the lack of even an emergency credit card is a tad bit terrifying. We quite literally live paycheck to paycheck, as do many.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. Or maybe it was. I've felt more emotions this year than ever in my life. I at once felt sad and ashamed to be in such a financial mess. And wouldn't you know that I'd run into my ex-best friend of 10 years at the bankruptcy office, the "friend" who went to court to support my abusive ex-boyfriend as I seeked a restraining order against him cause she was afraid his sister wouldn't like her anymore (more on that later in the blog - and YES, I realize this sounds like high school drama that's why it's SO ANNOYING). As we both filled out paperwork sitting in the same little room, shooting each other glances I thought "Heavenly Father has a sense of humor, obviously".
This wasn't the way I'd planned my life or what I'd pictured. I pictured one of us having a degree before the kids arrived. We were on track and then....life happened. I was pregnant and we needed money so Mr. Valentine went back to work, putting school on hold once again. Now, he's back in college and working full time with one year to go. Then, I'd like to move nearer to my family. I would welcome warmer weather and a new town to explore.
This isn't to say I'm not thankful or humble about it all. I felt blessed to even have a home and food to eat. IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE. And I know this. That's what scares me and makes me feel for those in this sort of situation.
I'm fairly certain my husband still loves me after the mess we've been through together. We should have fill in the blank here. We even could have fill in the blank here. We know this NOW. We've learned as we've lived. We're working through tough times as any couple does. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes we're depressed, sometimes we're angry at each other. Sometimes we don't like each other very much. But most of the time we're just HELLA TIRED. We haven't been on a date in over a year. But we’re usually able to do it for the kids, even on days when we'd really rather check out.
When I was growing up I wanted to be a dental hygienist. Then my real dad told me he didn't have the money to send me to college like he always said he would. So instead, I got married at 18, divorced at 20 and moved back in with my mom and stepfather. Then I met a very controlling Filipino guy who was very abusive and downright mean. My mind was very messed up during those two years and I partied a lot. I was in college during this time, having discovered something called THE STUDENT LOAN. Which don't get wiped out during a bankruptcy, by the way....you still owe those! I'm the poster child for "you should have studied in college and not drank those years away."
Then, I met my husband, discovered the church, stopped drinking and life seemed okay for a while. I was baptized, we married 6 months later, and were sealed after I'd been a member for a year. Now I'm a stay at home mother with nary a moment to think straight, let alone go back to school. But I'm smart and funny and when I'm not impersonating a robot in order to get everything done each day for the kids and husband, I enjoy blogging, twitter...and a good meal that I don't have to cook.