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Names Of My Future Offspring (Or Future Dogs)

You can see, below, why I allowed Mr. V to make the final choices on our children's names. I trust his judgement on these sorts of permanent matters. *I* like these names. The majority of votes were NOT in favor, however. Ahem.

1. Leilani (girl)

2. Lexington (boy)

3. Oscar (boy)

4. Chloe (girl)

5. Adonis (boy)

6. Jasper (boy)

7. Clementine (girl)

8. Clover (girl)

9. Lila (girl)

10. Venetia (girl)

11. Morgan (girl)

12. Allegra (girl...guess I want another girl.)

13. Ella (girl....it's gonna be a girl, for sure.)

14. Sunshine (girl)

And Finally: Very, Very Random @#$%

1. I've seriously considered shoe-polishing the word @funkyvalentine on the back of my minivan as I drive the kids around town. And I think I will (but shhh, don't tell Mr. V he'll call me a dork).

2. I so miss making prank phone calls. Or rather, handing my sister the phone and saying "quick, tell them your constipated!"

3. Belly buttons smell funny. Don't ask me how I know.

4. When I'm hot at night I wet down my feet. Ye need not tell me I'm wierd.

5. I'm secretly hooked on that show LA Ink, even though I know it's sinful. And now, I secretly want one or FIVE tattoos. Or "tats" as they call them. See, I'm even using their evil tattoo lingo. NOT a good sign. And it's NOT called a parlor. Dammit.

6. I want really short, rad hair like that chic from America's Next Top Model, Naima.

7. I continue to have back spasms in my kidney area. And I freak out and think I'm having kidney failure or a heart attack. Even though it's in my kidney area.

8. I once opened a box of condoms and put them on things, randomly, in a drug store. I thought it was funny, at the time. Ahem. Um, yeah.

9. Once, at my moms house while I was in high school, we lit the dining room table on fire to show it's sturdiness and a pizza delivery arrived with a pizza and was like, WTF you guys are crazy!

10. I don't answer my phone. Or door. If you don't call first, don't come over. But don't expect me to answer the phone if you do call to tell me your coming over. Um, no, this doesn't seem odd in the slightest to me. But E mail is my prefered method of communication. Can't people just e mail me when they want to stop by? We'd communicate so much better.

Holla

Haute Topics

Books/Movies I'd like to read/watch. As if.

1. The Lost Symbol. Dan Brown.

2. Food, Inc.

3. Capitalism: A Love Story.

4. All the episodes of Lost. (I've heard it's a great show)

5. Freakonomics. Steven D Levitt/Stephen J Dubnar. Don't mix them up, now.

6. Something historic. I mean, literally. Like one of those romantic novels from the 18th century.

7. Moby Dick. Herman Melville. So I can re-read the first paragraph to Mr. V and explain why I had to cheat on that book report (the only one I've ever cheated on). I COULD NOT make it through that stupid first paragraph. Must have read it a hundred times.

8. Planet Earth: The Complete Series.

Random Hedonisms Below, For Your Reading Pleasure

Now that Mr. V's class is done I can FINALLY update my blog more. I've been in blog withdrawal, I tell ya! Have been living on diet pepsi. Not too healthy. Need to start exercising. My Hoo-Hoos have doubled in size from all the mint chocolate chip ice cream with butterscotch...every evening. Not a good thing in my opinion, since they're already supersized. Sometimes TWO bowls of ice cream. Sometimes even for BREAKFAST. Sheesh. I know, Operation: For Me, Dammit lost it's funding. But I'm fixing the deficit and starting again, promise.

THINGS I LIKE, DAMMIT.

Because even if I could buy myself something I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I LIKE or where to even start shopping for it!

1. Flowers. Of course.

2. I ESPECIALLY love peonies. I'd say those are my favorite flowers. Hyacinth is a close second.

3. Wedding stuff. Even though I'm married. I could just look through wedding sites all day.

4. Same for baby stuff. Especially baby names.

5. The Knifty Knitter. Which my mother purchase for me today and I can actually use it without screwing it up. And that's saying something.

6. The color Green.

7. Freezer jam. Wow. I don't know how to make it, but my mom took me out to breakfast and they had it and AHHHHH. Glee. Seconds, please.

8. Fresh mozzarella with tomatoes and basil.

9. Not curling my eyelashes anymore. I did it for years for what, people? NOTHING. I tell you it was all WASTED time. Cover Girl's lash blast could have saved me months of life.

10. Bright eye shadow. Who would have thought?

11. History. It's fascinating and so NEW to me because I barely graduated high school and now I see I need to learn history so I can teach the kids and all. I just learned about the Civil and Revolutionary Wars, man. Wow. Why oh why did I skip school to miss out on that sort of stuff!

12. Michael Moore. He's my homie.

THINGS I WANT, DAMMIT.

Because I really don't know and so I just buy something for the kids instead.

1. A wig. To make getting ready easier.

2. A new blog design.

3. A chrome color Hummer. Not the H2 or H3 Hummer, but a real Hummer, totally blinged out.

4. One of those little smart cars. Tiny. To compliment my big ass, blinged out Hummer.

5. Knitting for Dummies. And the tools. So I can make all sorts of cool stuff. I can already crochet. Sort of.

6. Bamboo Yarn for knitting. That'd be hella fly.

7. To learn how to throw cool, color coordinated parties like this.

8. A nose job.

9. A purple velvet sofa.

10. Sarah Palin glasses. Even though I'm a Democrat.

11. A Blythe Doll.

12. An etsy shop. Even though I have absolutely NOTHING to sell in one. Yet. Though I did get the knifty knitter and got about 5 rows completed on this thing that's too big to be a scarf, too small to be a blanket. And then I got sidetracked and don't know if I'll ever pick it up again, but you know. C'est la vie.

13. Permanent Eyebrows.

14. A non-traditional home. Cause after filing bankruptcy that might be all we can afford one day.

15. Another Victoria's Secret Bio-fit bra. The best bra ever made.

16. My tubes tied.

17. Another baby. I just can't decide here.

18. A British Supernanny.

19. An Amazon Kindle.

Theme Songs That Get Me Through It

Theme songs I've recently had drifting through my foggy head. Some are a little, um, OFF I'll admit...

1. Survivor. Destiny's Child

2. We are the Champions. Queen

3. There's Gotta Be More To Life. Stacie Orrico

4. Sexy Back. Justin Timberlake

5. Crazy. Gnarles Barkley. I'm totally gonna name my next dog Gnarles, man.

6. I Will Survive. Gloria Gaynor

7. She Bangs. Ricky Martin. And I do...sometimes. Okay, only when I get 10 hours of sleep. Which is like, never. Still. Just Saying.

8. Forever. Chris Brown. Yes, it's that Wedding Aisle Song turned You Tube sensation. Even though he's got issues, man.

9. It's Raining Men. The Weather Girls. I'll spare you the car vlog on this one since, you know, I go ALL out (complete with dance moves when I sing it). Can't do it justice in the car, man.

10. I Don't Know. Lily Allen. Tres appropo for these latter days, I'd say.

11. Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head. BJ Thomas.

12. Hi To Kolob. MoTab Chior.

13. Life in Mono. Mono.

14. Let's Get It On. Marvin Gaye. It's EXCELLENT for karaoke. NOT that I'd know or anything.

15. My Humps. Alanis Morissette.

16. Whiter Shade of Pale. Procol Harum. If that's not a bizarre name for a group I don't know what is.

17. Time to Say Goodbye. Sarah Brightman.

18. It's My Life. Bon Jovi.

19. Dream On. Aerosmith.

20. Changes. Tupac.

Never-Ending Goals, Betterments and Things To Do

1. Figure out how to use this stupid program called Photoshop Elements 7. It looks cool, but it's really difficult to use.

2. Organize my photos. All 50,000 of them. Make them into a slideshow/photobook or something otherwise pretty and digital.

3. File. I hate filing but it must be done.

4. Make a few music CD's.

5. Do weekly vlogs.

6. Set up a Skype account.

7. GET A ROUTINE. Wake up, get ready to go do something, anything. School the kids each day.

8. Write thank you notes for the last years worth of gifts.

9. Learn to can food. Plant a garden if we ever get a yard of our own.

10. Start my 3 month food storage.

11. Paint my toenails consistently.

12. Exercise. Lose 20 pounds.

13. Go back to college. Get a degree in web design so I can make my own hella fly blogs.

14. Read something other than blogs and the Huffington Post. Be more intellectual.

15. Have family home evening. We rarely do. Yes, we're sinners.

16. Write my memoir/autobiography. In case I die young.

The Kids (29)
Me (27)

Copyright © 2009, Gabrielle Valentine. All rights reserved and deserved. This site her own personal point of view and quite frankly, a fly work of art. This site is not affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the Democratic Party, Squarespace or the Catholic Church, even though she likes the first three a lot and thinks the last one is totally lame. Regardless, she wishes all four would give her mad props. If your a tad bit confused right now you just need to pray about it. Then, we'll share some Xanax muffins made with that unpronounceable, healthy antioxidant chocolate that sounds like you're clearing your throat in Chinese when you say it. Acai.

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The Kids (29)

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